To the Boy I Thought I Knew Once — May 20, 2017

To the Boy I Thought I Knew Once

Hello,

I want you to know that I’m done.  I’m done waiting for you to reach out to me.  I’m done hoping you’ll tell me all the things I want to hear.  I’m done with the idea of being a part of your life.  I’m done letting you be a part of mine.  I’m done with the one-word responses to everything I say.  I’m done falling.  I’m done with you.

I’m sick of hearing songs and picturing your hand in mine.  I’m sick of the stupid promises because nothing ever changes.  I’m sick of the voices in my head screaming your name as tears run down my face.

I know she’s still by your side.  My heart still stings.  I hope she makes you happy because I was never able to.  I hope you tell her you love her every day.

You will never see these words.  You’ll never know why I’m not talking to you.  I know that you’ll forget about me (if you haven’t already).  I know you won’t miss me.  And I’ll never hear from you again.

Goodbye..

~Your old friend

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Sorry — May 16, 2017

Sorry

Dear friend,

I barely talk to you anymore.  Maybe because it’s too hard.  Because you always mention his name.  Don’t you know?  It hurts so much.  I know you are dating him so you are going to talk about him.  But you’ve said it yourself you don’t really like him.

I sit next to you and we don’t talk about hardly anything.  I try to keep you from bringing him up by saying things like, “you won’t believe what happened! ” and quickly thinking of something that has happened in the past day.  I don’t want you to think you can’t tell me things.  You should know that you can but, sometimes it hurts.

You’ve had feelings for me before.  You say dating him is a good distraction.  How is that fair?!  I know we can’t be together, and that difficult things do happen.  But I am here for you.  You don’t have to do that.  You say that you won’t go out with him.  But you’ve been saying that.

I’ll see you in a few hours…

~Your best friend